Lord your will....

u know those mornings where you wake up early tossin and turnin tryin to go back to sleep but ya know something is wrong? ya that was me this a.m. though i ignored the feelin and slept anyways. that was til i heard the phone. usually i ignore that too but this time i got up knowin somethin wasn't right. ..so my g-pa fell outta his wheel chair again and hit his head and is now in boone in surgery. he hasn't woke up since the fall. though i know the Lord is with him it's still so hard to swallow. and my family esp my g-ma and all she has been going thru is even harder.
i've come to realize not fully acceptin yet that loved ones do get old and sick and that's part of life. recently i didn't even want to think bout it and wanted to be numb and not think about it. now one week and one day later my mind is becoming more clear to the realities of life. there will be mountains and valleys but God is with us, all i gotta do is call on His name. He is there with outstretched arms. I can't wait around til i leave and then expect changes within my inner most being. i have to start now and allow God to begin His work within me Now. He is so ready and willing and He sent so many people to me over and over again to tell me how much He loves me and how much He wants to use me. I am sooo loved and i am soo greatful and blessed. .......